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20 June 2002 @ 01:05 am
The music in my mind is vascillating between "welcome to the Hotel California" and "one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do," and all that those two songs entail. Erp.

I really have a lot of stuff to scan and color in whenever I get the chance ... I keep on meaning to do stuff, but I never get around to it. I shouldn't spend as much time online right now as I am doing ('cause my grandmother is here and all ...), but heh, I can't help it. ^^; I keep on meaning to post in Poring Juice, never remember; keep on meaning to respond to emails, get distracted by a flurry of IMs; keep on meaning to update Hammerspace or some site, am intimidated by the size of the task. Silvermask, what's the status on the .:!Brainfuzz!:. work? o_O June is nearing its peak.

Thirst plagues me.

I feel very unliterary, very stupid, very blah and mediocre. Inadequate. Average. Useless. Confused, undecided, unable to take a stand. And thirsty, dammit, no matter how much juice I drink (I can't stand the way the water tastes here). --;

Fairybane's comment about how I never follow through with what I say still bothers me, even now. Is it really like that? I thought that changing my mind was more along the lines of considering new information and making a new decision because of it, or whatever ... though I know my preoccupation with reputation prevents me from doing many things that I otherwise would or want to. Gah, I'm such an idiot. Is it true? I don't know.

Somebody tell me why I have some of these things bookmarked. Ugh. ::delete delete:: That's another problem of mine ... I think that once I move out on my own, I'm going to have to maintain a very spartan type of household. Sure, random things and baubles are nice to have, and I like the way they make things look cluttered ... but after awhile, I get sick of it all, and I wonder why I have so much useless stuff. Why do I save all my notebooks, why do I save this or that, why did I buy this or waste my money on that? I wind up giving things away in spurts. Random things. o_O And I find pennies and marbles and rocks that I guess were special once but hold no meaning now, for they're apart from the rest in a pretty paper box but now I don't want them.

AAAY I just bent a nail backwards ... I don't mind nails on a chalkboard, but gosh I really shudder when I bend them backwards. >.<

I should sleep. My grandmother has a bad habit of getting me up early. -_-; She's been doing it rather frequently, although she justifies it by saying that she lets me sleep in longer than my mother would. She got me up early today, for example, and we all went out to the Land of Tourists Gawking at Amish Individuals and Carriages and Merchants Making a Profit Off It.

Random bit of information - there were at least three vendors at the fleamarket selling socks. The exact same type of cotton tube socks with different colored toes, in "ladies" and "mens." I've always been under the impression from the numerous decorating shows and whatnot that I've sat through that fleamarkets are a place to find cheap antiques and curious pieces of things, not cotton socks. But I guess I was wrong ...
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: It's a mess, it really is