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05 February 2002 @ 10:20 pm
I feel rather like slamming my head into something. The thought becomes more and more appealing the longer I think about it. Rather reminds me of the time I got so frustrated with everything and nothing at all that I tried to beat up my desk since nothing else was available, an attempt which backfired as the desk had far more patience than I. heh

Something must be done. I think I know what it is. But I don't know how. Can I? I don't trust myself. -_- I'm still afraid of failure, even if in this case all I'll have to face up to is me. And so often I don't do things because I know that there is no possibility of success. I'll probably do that again, even though I'm less sure about the outcome of this than, say, asking the idiots across the hall to kindly shut up.

Plus I told my father about the trip I want to go on with other art students to Italy this summer ... a trip which requires spending "his money," since there's no way I could afford to do it on my own. I don't think he'll play along. So I probably won't go, which sucks. I really wanted to go, so badly. It was going to be scary, but it was going to be so great. A full month of drawing, art history, excursions to Rome and beautiful old buildings, learning another language ... wah. T_T;

Dammit, I have homework, too. T_T;
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated