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17 November 2003 @ 08:21 pm
"When you feel outta whack with the world, that's a sign!"  
The advantage to having lived mostly inside your own mind is that you are able to study others from a different perspective. At a school this size, you frequently see the same individuals over and over again ... and over time, you develop your favorites to watch. It sounds a bit creepy, and perhaps it really is. But regardless, you learn a little bit of their habits, their gestures, their expressions ... after a while, you can tell who you are observing by merely seeing their gait.

I hadn't seen him in nearly two weeks, because our schedules and habits don't always align. He is busy, this I know. I understand. But I'm allowed to have my silly crushes, right ...?

I've had a few over the years, some dumber than others. This particular one has gone on longer than the rest more or less because I don't know for sure ... that it wouldn't "work out" on one level or another. Even though my existence matters little to him, watching him makes me feel ... hopeful, sometimes.

With the others, I always quickly realized that any effort would be doomed to failure. I had a habit of developing crushes on the guys who were kind to me (kindness so rarely happened at school), irrelevant of any other consideration. But sooner or later, I would figure out that it would never work: because of what I was at the time, or where he was in the social structure, or how he thought, or whatever ... but with this one ... I just have to wonder, and regret missed opportunities. Watching him, I suspect there's something "different" there.

In the end, I know so little about you ... and my time is running so short.
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Final Fantasy 7 - Main Theme (Piano Remix)
Lindsay: entertaining angelsirenpetal on November 17th, 2003 06:50 pm (UTC)
I know exactly how you feel about knowing people from a completely different perspective that many people would think you really should. My school has only about 600 people total in it...and we go all the way from Jr. Kindergarden to grade 12. You may not be able to name everyone in the Sr. School, but you can recodnize everyone. You see someone on the street randomly, and you're like: "Hey, I know her. I have no idea what her name is, but she's in grade 8." It's quite uncanny.
Silvermasksilvermask on November 17th, 2003 07:46 pm (UTC)
So you can remember forever and ever and ever and ever : P
[11/17/ - 21:07] SilverInTwilight: "you develop your favorites to watch. It sounds a bit creepy, and perhaps it really is."
[11/17/ - 21:07] *** Auto-response from ChopstickDucky: Dimensions! Regular meetings every Monday night at nine, Anime Nights on Tuesday at eight-thirty. Go on, acknowledge your inner geek.
[11/17/ - 21:07] SilverInTwilight: dude, lol, real life Livejournal XD;
[11/17/ - 21:43] ChopstickDucky: Dude, you should so put that in a comment so I can remember it forever. : P
[11/17/ - 21:43] SilverInTwilight: ok XD
[11/17/ - 21:44] SilverInTwilight: dude, you should just start using trillian and logging all of your AIM conversations
[11/17/ - 21:44] SilverInTwilight: after awhile it will only be mildly disturbing
[11/17/ - 21:44] ChopstickDucky: lol
[11/17/ - 21:44] ChopstickDucky: But then I'll wind up like you, with 30k of AIM convos. : P
[11/17/ - 21:45] SilverInTwilight: no no dear, I had MB, MB
[11/17/ - 21:45] SilverInTwilight: but I think only 10-15
[11/17/ - 21:45] ChopstickDucky: Oh yeah. ^^;
[11/17/ - 21:45] SilverInTwilight: luckily I saved most of them before my harddrive went splat
[11/17/ - 21:45] ChopstickDucky: lol, I love that. "no no dear, I had MB, MB"
jaekyu on November 17th, 2003 10:30 pm (UTC)
You should stage a meeting. It can take the form of some accident... In keeping with the otaku theme, you could take a cue from anime and crash into him at a corner because you were in a hurry, spilling all your books on the ground. Or even better, you can 'twist your ankle' in the process and see if he can help you to the hospital/nurse's office.

Good luck Sakaki *wink wink*
livinghole on November 18th, 2003 02:38 pm (UTC)
You could always ask him to go for a walk or do something with you. If you're convinced you've got so little time left, (this is what I would do) I'd find someway to make our paths cross more often. Especially in a stalkerlike manner =Þ
Fishkayay on November 18th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
It’s sort of funny. The way you worded things makes me think of a wildlife biologist, crouched in the brush, and watching an elusive animal. Time’s running out, so just shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, stuff him into the trunk of the car and keep him in your closet. Maybe he’ll develop a case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Go talk to him, get to know him better, or you’ll never know if it’ll work out or not. You’ll wonder, “what if”…
One Who Wanders: amusedabiona on November 19th, 2003 12:51 pm (UTC)
"Oh! Oh! Would you look at that, ladies and gentlemen, he's drinking some water! So graceful. Now that he's distracted, we'll just load him up nice and good with a few tranqs, and he can join D in the closet collection ..."
a wandering expatriateclockchild on November 18th, 2003 09:26 pm (UTC)
People Watching
I love to watch people, it's a great way to spend your time. I can't say that I've ever become infatuated with the people I watch in real life ... I've had a number of online-infatuations, though, in which I've fallen in love with the words and personality of a faceless someone.