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12 May 2004 @ 06:48 pm
getting over the crush  
I've forced myself out of my comfort zone and into a darkened room filled with near-strangers, loud music, and free hamburgers. To what purpose am I here? "To see the band again," I said, because they were fun to watch last time. "Because it's just across the street from where I've gotta drop off my paychecks." Convenient justification, that! In my heart of hearts, I know that "having fun" is secondary ... there's something else that has to happen first. Have I come to see you one last time? Yeah. That's probably it ... I'm all too well aware that you are graduating in a few days, and I am very conscious of the fact that I know nothing about what you're going to do afterwards. You don't seem like the type to stay here.

"If I could," the band sang. Well, if I could, I'd change who I was back then. I have changed, I know ... but I wish I had managed the feat sooner. Watching the band, watching him dance ... letting the memories of missed opportunities drip in my face. Good-bye, fellow I never knew. I wonder where life will take you?

...

Today started off fairly busy. It's "Dead Day," meaning that classes are canceled before the official start of finals. Thanks to my ALARM OF DOOM, I woke up around six and staggered out of the building at seven-thirtyish, meaning to win brownie points by being helpful. I arrived and put myself to work, and in short order another student and I had reloaded the large kiln, rebricked it, and started it; we also unbricked the smaller kiln, unloaded it, and cleaned off the tables in the main room. Around nine-thirtyish, I went back home and completely crashed into a comatose state for about three hours. Apparently my roommates entered/left my room and left me post-it notes, but I had no clue until after I awoke.

I feel pressed for time.
 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
 
 
 
Katenyxdae on May 12th, 2004 10:09 pm (UTC)
I was wondering if that was why you wanted to see the band again. Amazing.

You make me cry...That's so sad :(