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10 April 2005 @ 02:29 pm
the city episode  
Whenever I look out the window at night and see countless orange lights illuminating other lives, a strange sensation of lonely belonging fills me. The feeling is so dreamlike in its quality that I find myself wondering if it can possibly be real. It moves and lives, and I breathe in synch with it and everyone, though I speak to no one. Who knew that headlights miles off in the hills could be so amazing? But this is not all that there is. To step into the city's very heart, I must leave my small attic of comfort. I mustn't hold back! I must understand! Poorly shod feet cling to the pavement, and yet my grasp turns to air; I feel very disconnected from the world entire at present, as if my consciousness has separated and is gazing from afar upon the floor of strange shoes and the woman with the square, square jaw. My mind is gone, gone, watching the tiny church trying to sell hotdogs in the back alleyway. Am I truly a part of this? Am I a part of the pigeons and the people in checkered pants? Who are you, seeking refuge from this sudden overwhelming being?

...

$60 + $19 = $79. This is the extent of the fortune I control as the camera battery wavers between a "want" and a "need."
 
 
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Current Music: FFXI Intro