Between the cramps, retail, and my father visiting, it's been a non-weekend.
I started playing an old Wind Waker file I had forgotten about, and am now sailing around in a lobster shirt. When I am not saving the world, I keep myself amused by feeding fish, stealing items from monsters before I bat them off the high sea platforms and into the sea, and occasionally doing a backflip cannonball off the platforms myself. Quotes like this one, from a diving team with a bad tanline, are one reason among many why I love the Legend of Zelda series: "Come on, take it! I won't take 'no' for an answer! I also won't take 'nay,' 'nope,' or 'nar.' Just grab it!"
If people had been paying attention, the Empire probably would never have come to exist. Honestly, what do you think is going to happen to you when Darth Vader comes to "take care of you" ...? He's certainly not going to feed you chicken soup and help you lick your wounds!
Quite some time ago, beginning in middle school, I was really into Star Wars. I collected the little toys, read the novels, and attempted to hold marathons of the movies (despite never managing to stay awake through Return of the Jedi). I was thrilled when Phantom Menace was released ... a new Trilogy for a new generation! Somewhere around the appearance of Callista into book canon and Barbara Whozawhatzit into the cadre of Star Wars authors, though, I began to feel that the reading was getting dull, and as I prefer books over movies in general, my interest in the series began to wane. I eventually got completely bored with it and moved on, packing my collectibles into boxes and giving most of my copies of the novels away, except for the few that I most enjoyed.
I came to see Revenge of the Sith, therefore, as a former fan with slightly more knowledge of the Star Wars universe than the average movie-goer, but probably less than the dude who was there seeing the film for the fourth or fifth time. Overall, I felt that this installment flowed better than the first two, but was, through no fault of its own, still far from the spirit of the original trilogy. After all: different decade, different technology, different price tag. For example, in A New Hope, we see the smoking remains of Luke's aunt and uncle, and though we have not witnessed the act of carnage with our own eyes, we are still certain that they were innocents burned alive. In 2005, we see Anakin burn, and we even are given close shots of his skin, hair, and flesh turning red and black.
I feel as though the one-up mentality we see a lot in movies these days infected the new Trilogy, for they continually upped the ante by adding more lightsabers in the major lightsaber duels. What was it, four lightsabers for one fighter in this one? Uh-huh. It is perhaps fortunate that movies 4 through 6 were made when additional effects would have been next to impossible, or else we might've seen Luke wield multiple lightsabers as well, while fighting with one clenched in his teeth.
It is also interesting to note that George Lucas does, on occasion, listen to public outcry: JarJar Binks did not utter a single line this time around! Not one!
I thought the interpretation of human interactions were a little weak. Anakin and Padme, thinking their love, their marriage, and their baby a secret? For crying out loud, I wanted to tell them to get a grip, and be a little more realistic. They are on Coruscant, where you can't go an inch without encountering someone, and with that high a population in a bureaucratic center, politicking and gossip is rampant. He, a Jedi, spends every night in her room, and her stomach is not disguised by her high-waisted dresses, which is more than enough for any average gossiper to go on.
I was also a little puzzled by how no one seemed to be surprised to be presented with these two infants at the end of the movie. If, as Bail Organa said, he and his wife had been hoping to adopt a child, I would have expected Mrs. Organa to react with a little more joy, perhaps. Owen and Beru just took this random mouth to feed in without question, despite Tatooine being a harsh environment where they doubtless had enough on their hands trying to feed themselves.
Also, I want to know WTF is up with Palpatine's forehead. It's shaped like the letter M ... it has the Golden Arches embedded into it or something! If I had to stare at that after just having aided in the murder of a Jedi Master, maybe I'd give in so easily too. "Well, if I get a small fries, I might as well go with the Supersize," we can almost hear Anakin thinking. I also want to know why Palpatine kept on doing a little "Bilbo Baggins Wants the One Ring" face during all his fights, and why, oh why, could he not stuff a sock in his annoying laughter. Was it to get back at us for wanting JarJar Binks to be mute?
Lastly, I thought Anakin fell into a pool of lava. While you expend braincells pondering my strange interpretations, I shall now gift ye with my reinterpretations of specific scenes.
General Grievous: Hi, I came out of bloody nowhere, ::cough hack:: but apparently, this whole war effort hinges upon me now. ::hack hack:: Run away!
Obi-Wan: I'm getting beaten up for dramatic tension, and so that Anakin seems more savior-like and badass! Really, I could take this guy on my own!
Me: Oh come ON!! Use the Force, Obi-wan! You know, the Force? You've got it! Do that little swooshy thing and BLOW HIM AWAY!
Clones: Hi, we have no sense of loyalty.
Padme: Not here! People will know!
Padme: Anakin, I'm pregnant.
Anakin: Shit! I mean, that's the shit! That's awesome!
Padme: Anakin, let's have a relationship based on something other than sex. Tell me how you feel. What's wrong?
Anakin: Rarr! ::makes a pouty face and runs off to do some killing::
Padme: ... this is going to take some work. For now, I weep.
Anakin: I kill cute kids and hapless merchants, and I cry an emo-tear of self-hatred!
Obi-Wan: I loved you like a brother, man, but you really fucked up!
Don't get me wrong, now, I liked the movie.
While I'm thinking about the cinema, I wonder if cosplay is somehow mirroring the development of film. Walkons could match the early soundless movies, skits equal the introduction of sound, and right now, we're in the musical phase of things, where every masquerade has at least one song-and-dance number. Will we get an era of big explosions?