Though I would not describe my current mood as happy, I like to think that I am "maintaining." I do my job search stuff, I play FFXI, I sleep, and then I start this process all over again. Yet, I wonder if I really am sailing smoothly. In the past few days, I've noticed the developing of a tension so thick, it has practically attained mass of its own. It sinks down into me. It constricts my lungs, and it makes breathing feel like a challenge.
I feel a little like the gloops of mayonnaise that someone left to rot out on the sidewalk.
Though there is a postbox on the corner on my way to the bus stop, I often choose to go to another neighborhood, in which resides the first post office I found in New City. It is partially a matter of habit, but it is also a matter of preference, for going even just that little bit farther gives me a feeling of greater purpose. I walk around the universities as a comfort to myself. Still a stranger, still a lie, but there's little on the surface to prove that I do not belong there. Although I fail to identify with a majority of people my age, I am currently finding it somewhat comforting to be in their midst.
My G-mail invites keep multiplying like rabbits.