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14 September 2005 @ 01:51 pm
the internet is a being you just can't bury  
My LiveJournal is four years old now, which is pretty ancient in Internet time.

Though I would not describe my current mood as happy, I like to think that I am "maintaining." I do my job search stuff, I play FFXI, I sleep, and then I start this process all over again. Yet, I wonder if I really am sailing smoothly. In the past few days, I've noticed the developing of a tension so thick, it has practically attained mass of its own. It sinks down into me. It constricts my lungs, and it makes breathing feel like a challenge.

I feel a little like the gloops of mayonnaise that someone left to rot out on the sidewalk.

Though there is a postbox on the corner on my way to the bus stop, I often choose to go to another neighborhood, in which resides the first post office I found in New City. It is partially a matter of habit, but it is also a matter of preference, for going even just that little bit farther gives me a feeling of greater purpose. I walk around the universities as a comfort to myself. Still a stranger, still a lie, but there's little on the surface to prove that I do not belong there. Although I fail to identify with a majority of people my age, I am currently finding it somewhat comforting to be in their midst.

My G-mail invites keep multiplying like rabbits.
Current Mood: weirdchoked
Current Music: "Deku Nut's Palace," Koji Kondo
silence_glaive on September 14th, 2005 07:03 pm (UTC)
I will probably be starting up in FFXI soon, what server are you on?
One Who Wanders: omgwtfbbqabiona on September 17th, 2005 09:26 pm (UTC)
I currently play on the Fairy server.
silence_glaive on September 18th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
Okay, my friends are pushing me to take the World Pass to Quezocotl. Just wanted to check.
Ng-Master.  I prefer Dave, David, or DN.ngmaster on September 14th, 2005 10:01 pm (UTC)
Hm... four years old huh. Mine's just a year old, and I feel like I've been on it forever.

Sometimes it helps to be around people who have, or are, treading the same path you are. You never know what will happen though; all I can say is that I have faith that you'll do well in your quest.
Lokiateeq on September 14th, 2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
OMG! Yay! Finally! :D

Yes, you are sailing smoothly. :) Can't really be of much service though... I've been going through this phase for the last two years (and counting). Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs... it's a little lonely on top of that pyramid. That's how I feel, at least. Not much to keep myself busy with. XD

How is FFXI going? What level is your BLM?
Emily: goddessetoileeyes on September 15th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC)
*Hugs* Things will get better soon, I'm sure!! A person is never truly trapped (unless playing a video game), so don't feel so constricted. You will find purpose and meaning and something new to do!! If there is a library near you, that's a good place to hang out to break the monotony and get to know the community and little better! Anyhow, it's nice to see a post from you!