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25 January 2006 @ 09:32 pm
fat American seams  
And now for a highly exciting report on yesterday's inclement weather!

When we left the building at five p.m., we noticed that the sky was rather ominously gray. Since it has been unseasonably lovely lately, many pointed this fact out and exclaimed loudly, usually something to the effect that "it was time" or that Mother Nature was through "being nice." I shrugged, put my hood up, and said that it wasn't tornado weather, at least. A fellow "data abstractor" gave me a look, and I was forced to expound upon the signs of Hoosier weather problems. After my brief dissertation on the "proper" color of the sky and the behavior of animals prior to a disaster, we parted, she to her van (badly in need of a new paint job), and I to the buses (badly in need of new breaks).

As I prepared to disembark from the first bus of my return commute, I noticed what appeared to be rain on the windshield. Why, yes, it had started to sprinkle! It soon became much more than just a mere splatter of precipitation. As I hurried towards my next bus stop, it had grown into a full-fledged downpour! The bus shelter proved to be rather ineffective, as the rain just blew in from the side. I could do naught but stand in the farthest corner! When my second bus appeared, fogged up beyond belief, I hopped on and hoped to get home before things got any juicier outdoors.

Normally, when I get off this bus, I walk the remaining distance back home. There is another bus that will take me to a corner much closer, but walking sometimes seems quicker. When I got off this time, however, the sky had decided to produce both rain and snowflakes that were at least an inch in diameter ... at the same time. I laughed (though whether in shock, horror, or amusement, 'twould be hard to say.) Rather than amble as I normally do, I boarded a third public transportation unit.

Apparently flying slush wasn't good enough. We were progressing at a fair pace when there was a flash of blue light! Everyone on the bus said something roughly equivalent to "Whoa, shit!" There was a fair amount of thunder overhead. And as if we didn't believe it when it did it the first time (or perhaps just to prove the point), the storm went on having impressive electrical issues.

By the time I reached my front door, it had shifted over to snow. As of this morning, everything is coated in a hidden layer of ice. It made walking an adventure, reduced the busway to a crawl, and gridlocked several major streets.

Also, can I claim the distinction of being the first person to roast my rear on an iron, or has that already been done? (Cows don't count.)

I finally figured out what I was doing wrong when I attempted to pull all-nighters back in ye olde college days. I wasn't drinking three Fraparaparachinos in a single 24-hour period!

[Edit: OH EM GEE who is a genius!? I just totally stitched the ENTIRE SLEEVE SHUT. Hahahaha!]
 
 
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