One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders
abiona

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wedding politics

I have two cousins on my father's side. They are blond, blue-eyed and tall, with perfect pearl white smiles and charming suburban lifestyles. Though I envy them greatly, I like them well enough. As they are both older than I (and also somewhat more "typical" in their habits), one is getting married and the other is soon to be engaged. It is the tallest of the two who is about to walk down the aisle ... he will be a sight to see, no doubt, his six foot eight frame decked out in a tuxedo. The date is June 10th. I remember this clearly because back in 2001, that is the day I graduated high school and swore never to be an active alumna.

I am extremely hesitant about attending, and am already perceiving insults in things. The wedding couple did not send me an invitation. Rather, they included me on my father's invitation. Er, hello? I'm almost 23? I'm a separate entity? I can make my own decisions? Never mind the fact that I am currently living in a completely different state ... I have never resided with my father post divorce! I suppose it's excusable because they "just didn't know better," but I age just like everyone else, and my parents have been divorced for years. Surely they could have picked up on these facts by now?

From what I hear, the ceremony is going to be held in a beautifully large church. My uncle is a banker and that branch of the family is well off, so I'm sure he will go all out for his son's event. While I'm glad that more effort is going into it than went into my father's wedding, that brings up a whole new set of problems! If this is going to be "the social event of the year," polished and perfected with white and roses, I'm shit out of luck as far as wardrobe goes. I refuse to wear black to a summer wedding, so the best $70 I ever spent is out of the question. That leaves me with an old prom dress, a blue boring dress I wore to a dance my freshman year of high school, two glitzy show choir dresses, summer dresses I bought when I was in eighth grade, some more stuff in black, staid suits purchased for NYLC, and finally (and equally as suitable), cosplay. Argh!

If I go, I have to be impeccably attired. There is no way I can go looking as I normally do (or dressed up as a hippy), I must wear a beautiful veneer so that even if they never recognize I am my own person, they at least cannot look down on me for my appearance. I wish to present a minimal target for mockery. This outfit must be modest without being frumpy, light in color, and tailored! I own nothing that fits all of these requirements, and I am loathe to spend money (or time shopping).

Urgh! (I also dread my father making an ass out of himself at the reception.) Why did my cousin have to be so normal? Why couldn't he have eloped most dramatically and gotten married in the mountains of Nepal, or something like that?

...

The Attic wastes no time in becoming hot and stuffy. I'm melting, I'm melting!
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