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03 May 2006 @ 09:36 pm
"All Suffering SOON TO END!"  
As I was walking down the street this morning, I encountered an impeccably dressed Jehovah's Witness. He was busy passing out little color pamphlets. Most religious groups who waste paper in this manner tend to concentrate their efforts in the apparent New City epicenter of sin, the universities, so it was a bit odd to see this fellow three miles away from that hotspot.

As I was sprinting towards the bus, I did not read the flier in much detail. I had taken it because I had no time to say "No thank you." I only had sufficient seconds to accept, smile, and run on. Upon boarding, I took a closer look. The text was not surprising in any way, it referred to "evidence" that it never supplied, quoted the Bible, and so on. The cover image, however, contained one feature so bizarre, it made my day.

It is one of those pictures that lack a sense of time because they draw the most recognizable features from all four seasons. The flowers are in bloom, the trees are in autumn flare, the sky is as clear as a summer day in the Midwest, and the mountains are capped with snow. There is a couple beaming in the foreground, and their features are as generic as their smiles are white. Before them sits a bounteous harvest of pumpkins and apples, both very wholesome articles with a homely appeal. Behind them stands a two-story log cabin, which the viewer assumes must be theirs, tucked into the evergreens, overlooking the rolling fields of golden grass. The effect is stiffly cheerful and pretty dull.

But what saves the picture is the two moose. Yes. Moose. One male and one female, presumably a couple just like the humans, and though they do not smile, we must believe that they are happy with their lot, because they are simply moose. They are grazing peacefully, like cows. Bovines would have been more appropriate in the setting, but moose have a more "rustic," "outdoorsy," or even "Canadian" connection to them, and they were probably chosen over moo machines for that reason.

Thank you, Mr. Witness in the ivory pinstripe suit, for giving me the best thing I've seen in a while. Long live moose!
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "The Road to Purgation," FFX
proctorsilexproctorsilex on May 4th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
a room with a moose
One Who Wanders: cheerfulabiona on May 4th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
Re: a room with a moose
Yes. Ivory. African American men can make some really ridiculous suits look damn good.
proctorsilexproctorsilex on May 4th, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
Re: a room with a moose
i always thought of ivory and white as a southern style.
can't say i've ever seen pin stripes in reversed contrast on anyone.
Lukesemi_normal on May 4th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
One of my favourite pro-christian stickers I ever saw was one with two penguins, one of whom has been suddenly engulfed by a giant fish. The non-fished penguin is saying 'Relax, God's in charge.'

Because that's comforting when you've being devoured by a GIANT FISH, you know?
One Who Wanders: brightabiona on May 4th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
God will intervene before you hit the digestive system! Really!
exjehovahexjehovah on May 4th, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC)
The JW art is as good as it gets
The Watchtower artwork is eye candy the cult itself is miserable--Danny Haszard