September 13th, 2002

work, dirty job, erk, working

(no subject)

"No, I'm gonna write it in Swahili, and you better damn well translate it!" - Ryan

He's right, I did only ask for filenames written legibily. I did not specify what language I would prefer them in. XD

I have to wonder why I'm doing this ... am I still here although I've barely begun, out of guilt? There is no one that I know of who can take my place. Why did I volunteer for this position in the first place though I do not really give a damn about the paper ...? Because it was something I could do ... because I wanted to feel valued. But I'm clearly not putting their paper together for either my health or my sanity, and I really don't enjoy working with Pagemaker that much anymore. I apparently get paid per issue from the advertising revenue, but I don't know how much or how regularly. I can see that everyone else getting their stuff in late will push me up against my own deadlines, since this paper calls things very closely. I realize that many articles must come in late, due to the very nature of the story that they cover (sports, for example), but having so many missing until the last minute will stress me out. It is difficult to lay things out when you don't have everything.

They're honestly nice people this time around. I'm afraid to say things because they are so good-natured, and when they're not done with their own stuff on time, it is not because they forgot or thought it unimportant. They're the folks who hang out for hours over there, typing up all the different stories that they volunteered to write and that they wound up having to write because other people flaked. Their dedication alone makes me feel somewhat of a bad person, because this paper doesn't mean that much to me. I will do my job to the best of my ability, but ... it doesn't have my heart.

Another subject ...

Gesture drawing is very difficult for me, and I think I'm going to have to apply a lot of thought and practice into "getting it." Professor Salmi is right ... by letting go of control, there is freedom in it, an ability to truthfully describe the body's mass and weight. Fully grasping this technique will enhance my drawing abilities elsewhere. By deconstructing, you can reconstruct, and by experiencing the freedom, I will gain a greater control over what I can do and what my eye sees.

It's just very difficult for me ... because control is a massive personal issue for me, and my perfectionism is still strong in my mind. He noted the other day my skills with contour drawing, and I think part of the reason that I am decent at it is because to me, contour drawing is freedom. It took me a long while and many thoughts of "I must continue" to overcome my perfectionism, and it's the free-est I've ever been, while at the same time it gave me a confidence, an ability to think that "yes, I do belong here." So in order to gain that greater freedom ... that sense of belonging ... I must face this challenge again. I must overcome my fear of loss of control, must overcome the habits of my hands.

I need chocolate.
  • Current Music
    Arslan Senki - Kutsuato No Hana
ack, make it stop, stressed, frazzled, paranoid

The Minute Tribulations of a Production Editor

My peaceful euphoria with life seems to fade with the advent of the paper layout. Hang on, ladies and gentlemen, it's going to be a bumpy ride this time around, but never fear - after this 'twill be mostly smooth sailing. I just need to get back into the swing of things, that's all, and learn your styles. I am still Mac-literate and most of my Pagemaker skills stand with me to this day ... but there's this one technique for resizing images that I just can't remember for the life of me ... grr. Grr! I know another few ways to do it, but I'd like to use that one which is the most efficient, but of course is the one which is unavailable due to memory lapse. Attempting to access our H drive from the computer fondly labeled Freak led me to connect (not sure why) to Dartmouth College's FTP, but I found a way around it, so I have most of the articles that are in.

Except for that one ::points:: and that one ::points::, which should be in (and are huge), but I can't find. o_O; All the pictures I've found to place so far are either for this one story or another one ... not sure where the other images have been hidden by others! No clue where the ads are currently sitting, either (I'm assuming we have them ... somewhere).

Okay, so apparently I'm kind of doubling as an ad designer as well. All I have to worry about is the bookstore's ad? Um ... can you give me the information they want on the ad, other than the fact that it's supposed to be a 3x6 ...? That'd be so handy. ^_^;

The computers Freak and Mother sponaneously and rather randomly say "Seriously, what the fuck?" every now and then. Freak also has a thing for dimming the monitor and flashing it back up again every so often. "Whoa, Freak, let me save first!"

As a production editor, I swear to check my email more often. "Aww, we were spoiled by Ellen." Yes, I am not my predecessor. Yes, she was a production editor goddess, and yes, she took care of everything for you, so you didn't have to worry. But this is my first time working for you, and frankly, I'm not as devoted to the cause as she was.

I'm feeling pressed against by time already. Grrr.

I feel both lonely and supported in this occupation. Certainly the others are available (if you can reach them in a still moment of their busy schedules) for help, but I'm mostly working alone. Somebody come visit me?
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed
work, dirty job, erk, working

I'm wasting time.

I figure, at seven, I'll start again. Or probably at least fifteen minutes later, given my procrastination habits ... or something. That patch of cement on the floor there looks like India ... and that must be Taiwan over there ... there's Russia ... I can see many of the islands of the Pacific ... the filing cabinet comes to be before North America takes form, though. ::smacks forehead against desk::

IE for the Mac is shiny, but it kind of annoys me for some random reason. Freak and Mother are not really kindling a good relationship with me here ... both of them have little spaz attacks where the screen flashes blank for a second and then comes back. Freak can't handle running IE, Pagemaker, and Groupwise all at the same time. Moouack, on the other hand, who is probably a teensy-weensy bit older, can take IE, Photoshop, Groupwise, AIM, Irfanview, and assorted other bits of randomness all at one time. I really do appreciate Moouack's general hardiness. Considering my ineptness, he really is a tough computer!

Neither Freak nor Mother can get onto the H drive, so I can't copy/paste some articles over into the tobeplaced folder, which is problematic. Apparently we suddenly lack appropriate authorization ... perhaps the fileserver Jupiter is still down? Grr. Pain in the ... narf. I will finish this entry and log off, so that I may restart and see if that works miracles.

Sho, I'm sorry I had to vanish so suddenly while I was speaking with you ... I abruptly realized that if I did not leave right then and there, I would be late for a student art show ... and then late for dinner ... and, well, now I'm here for the rest of the evening. I'm finding things that indicate several of these articles are really gloriously undone. For example, "These concerns included: [see issue in May]". Charming, Sir Writer, really. The thing that stinks about being the end of the process if that if somebody ahead of you in the line screws up their deadline, yours is most assuredly mucked up as well.

God, my journal looks really whacked out in this resolution with this huge monitor. I'll have to fix that ... someday ...

  • Current Music
    "Sandmantas/Rest Area," Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust