November 15th, 2002

calm, composed, caring, loved, angelic

I will survive!

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I've been inquiring about my paychecks from the two issues of the Decaturian that I put together. I have not yet been paid the $100 which they owe me, nor have I been informed that the funds have gone to my workstudy (which is not something I believe I've set up to have done anyway). It seems they may have lost the contract that I signed, which pisses me off. >.<

After lunch, I brought this perfect, vibrant red little leaf that I found on the sidewalk in from outside ... since I was in a rush to get to class, I left it sitting on my desk ... while I was away, it curled up, and is now all crumpled, crispy, crunchy, and dead. ;_; Alas!

I feel strange right now. I want do so something, but I do not know what. Since I've been over at Kirkland every night this week at this time, it feels rather odd to be sitting here in my room ... I want to do something, and yet at the same time, I just want to sit back and let myself crash, since the worst of a long week is over and done with.

It was an interesting critique today (and I actually took a few notes which were true notes, not me lambasting myself for being an idiot) ... we had to partner up and select four or five drawings that our partner had done, put them up for the class to see, and then lead the discussion on those pieces, and say why we picked them.

I got a lot of very, very enthusiastic praise for a piece I did subtractively ... it was a front, slightly foreshortened view of the torso, done mostly with eraser and a bit of charcoal on paper which had been grayed with a light layering charcoal rubbed down. The others said things like "it's difficult to be so gentle with the eraser," "I like how suggestive of forms it is," and a copious amount of "it reminds me of [DaVinci/Insert Old Master Name Here]."

People liked my skeleton as well ... the pieces that my partner had selected of mine were all pieces that she felt were "different from [the] angular pictures" that I usually do. All this makes me wonder ... is my strength in my gentleness, and in my subtlety? Is this sudden skill and affinity I displayed with that technique a result of my fondness in the past for gentle blending with pencils (a reason why I was slow to get into CGing, and have still refused to espouse "good clean cel shading") ...? Has anime caused me to overlook my inherent skills, and to reach for something which is not of my nature?

Maybe I can draw an RO comparison. I loved being an acolyte, not for their adherence to "God" ... but for their skills, and the gentle kindness often associated with them. It's why I was far more successful as an acolyte than I was as a thief (too "sassy"), a merchant (too "down to earth"), or a magician (too damn easy to kill ... XD). All my characters displayed traits of courtesy, but the healing skills of the acolyte suited me best, I think. (Gah ... I can't wait for RO to come back ... I hope nobody takes my names ... ;_;)

Well ... it's late, and I have morning classes. Good night, folks, I'll see ya later.
  • Current Music
    Nightwish - Sin is My Sin