February 9th, 2003

grumpy, annoyed, been better, blah, bothered

While we wept, we smiled.

Last Wednesday night, I spent some time over at Kirkland, and came out with a couple of drawings that I felt a little better about than some of the stuff I've been doing in the past. I hoped that maybe he would say that I was getting closer to what Degas embodies, but alas, that was not the case. Though I tried different techniques and materials, I was - am - still struggling. He said that he knew I was struggling with this, but that an artist's life is a set of struggles - you conquer one to enter an easy plain, but in order to progress and improve, you must surmount yet another struggle of the countless in an endless staircase. He said that as long as I kept up hope that there would be a breakthrough, and kept on working for it, there would be. Something will come of my troubles.

One of my friends, who has known me ever since I was born, is getting called into active duty in a week or two. I don't know the details, but we think he's going to be on an aircraft carrier somewhere in the Mediterranean.

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I think it says something when my parents send down a box for me, and in it I find those color chips you can collect from the painting sections of stores. It is one of the collections that has crossed over from early childhood, as well as my habit of picking up pretty/interesting rocks. (I am still fond of adopting little round hunks of pink granite from that parking lot gravel stuff ...) My collection of soap, however, has been discontinued for years.

I've been moody lately, and uninclined to speak when in public. I sense a visit from "Aunt Flo" looms near ... that, and Valentine's Day. It's somewhat difficult to be chirpy about a holiday that gets you feeling down, because the stuff you get to celebrate it with doesn't have any meaning behind it. Yeah, it's nice to get chocolate and cards, but they seem very temporary and ineffectual when you've been single for so long.

And now, for something somewhat different.

Does anyone else think it's somewhat odd that they have men cleaning the halls and taking the trash out of the all-women's dorm, all the while never saying "man on" as is custom or even being escorted by someone the girls know ...? I see random guys hanging out in the stairwell and/or doing cleaning things rather frequently now.

The idiot who asked for my number has, thankfully, not done anything with it.

D&D was Friday night, as usual, and was very amusing this time around. These quotes go up for nyxdae.

Tonberry - ... the Tonberry decides that life is no longer worth living.
Rogue - She takes four steps and stabs herself!

Person1 - I touch the door!
God - The door doesn't budge.
Person2 - I slam into the door!
God - The door doesn't budge.
Person3 - I shall cast a spell on the door!
God - The door won't budge.
Tonberry - The dragon licks the door!
God - And the door opens!

I've forgotten at the moment what else I meant to type concerning D&D, save that Tonberries do indeed rule the world from the shadows. John is also of the opinion that no character in that campaign suits their player better than Kharma the Tonberry matches me. Cute, but with a decidedly evil bent, set on mass destruction.

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I've decided to set my week up in little organized chunks that I will spend on each project that's coming due. Thus, Monday = Illustration Day, and Tuesday and Wednesday = Degas Days.
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