January 27th, 2007

tragic, can't let go, no miracles, upset, frustrated

ten days in the fight for love

1.) You know what, it's not okay. I am not okay with this, and I'm no longer willing to take all the blame for the situation either. I'm a part of it without a doubt, but so are you, and I'll be damned if I pretend your weight or lack thereof does not exist!

2.) Why not just make it four hundred dollars even, curse you! Why not ask me for five hundred? Why not eat me alive!? What the hell have I done to January to cause this unprecedented onslaught of demand?

3.) I want to go outdoors and dunk my head into a snowdrift, but everything has melted. I guess I'll go for a walk instead.

4.) Time! Time! Time! I have to keep on reminding myself that I'm not going to die tomorrow. At least it's not likely that I will die tomorrow. I don't have eternity, but I do have time! Live, live, live! Please live!

5.) It seems clear to me now. I'm boring. You should have just told me.

6.) Why can't I rely on you? Why can't I trust you? Why do you do this to me? You refuse my need every time! Clearly, I should just never get sick so I never have to endure your disdain for my well being, but my body has been a source of trouble since my memory started, and so I have no choice but to entreat you and retreat before the bill.
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated