February 5th, 2011

longing, lost

the internet, it is breaking

At the rate I'm going, I wonder if I should just give up the ghost and sell all the fabric/patterns I've been carting around for years. Teaching plus commuting equals no energy, so by the time I get home, all I want to do is put on my pajamas, read a book, and go to bed. (Talk about a rockin' social life! Because I have to get up so early, I'm usually out by 8:30.) Effort be damned! Much of the fabric is the result of once living near a Joann's that went out of business. I got it because it was cheap and pretty, not because I had something in mind. Some of the accumulation is the result of my most common problem - gathering the materials for a project, but never getting started.

I still like wearing costumes, and cosplay photography remains interesting from the angles of photographer, cosplayer and viewer. But the thought of going to cons appeals to me less and less with each passing year, and is no longer a significant motivator. (Robin is now sitting in pieces in _rosiel_'s closet - but it looks better already!) I would like to see out-of-state folks, but that's the only draw.

I debate setting up photoshoots elsewhere, as I find a lot of cool places when I walk, but I never seem to get around to it. I'm not sure if I'd want to be subject or photographer. I admit to missing photoshoots because they were a rare moment when I got to be the center of attention, feel special, and look pretty. That, and they were useful for icons and the like, because no good pictures of me out of costume exist. I seem to have a knack for looking like a moron when I'm not posing/being posed by someone. I also cannot take pictures of myself to save my life. (This is one reason why I fail at Facebook.) But I'd have to make something. Or connive my way into getting someone to make something for me. Agh! There's that effort thing again!

As far as being on the other side of the camera, I am similarly undecided. On the one hand, I have a new new-to-me camera and I like photography, but on the other, I've never really had much interest in taking pictures of people. Hmm. I can kind of see me-as-people-photographer going poorly. I imagine it thus:

Person: Uh, so, you basically took a lot of pictures of the trim on my costume, and in some, you can see parts of me. Like my hand. Or my chin.
Me: Yeah! But check out how the beads glitter in the sun! And if your hand is right there at an angle, see how that leads the eye to ... (... and I'd probably trail off, talking about asymmetrical composition and stuff like that.)
Person: Why would I want to put that on cosplay.com? This was a waste of time.
Me: .................... but the light shining through the beads is pretty?

... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

... anybody interested in fabric? I've got some nice stuff. _rosiel_ can vouch for that.
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