I apparently won a complimentary trip for two to Orlando, Florida, or Las Vegas, Nevada. The voice in the message seemed real enough, though it was falsely enthusiastic. There's no obligation to purchase anything, yadada yadada, all you have to do is listen to us speak about our travel services for a half hour, blah blah blah. But lo! There are requirements! You must match one or more of the following:
- You must be married. (Anne is, of course, not.)
- You must be part of a couple/relationship. (Anne is not.)
- You must be a single female between the ages of 25 to 70. (Despite the wide margin, Anne is off by two years.)
- You must have a combined income of $45,000. (All Anne has to say about this one is, "HAHAHA!")
I knew it was too good to be true.
When I come to think that my Animal Crossing: Wild World townsfolk are stupid beyond help, they have conversations like this, and my faith in them is restored:
Maple: Freckles, if you were any cake in the world, what would you be?
Freckles: Oh, that's easy. Carrot. Did you think I wouldn't have an answer? Dude, I think about this ALL THE TIME. I'd have a delicious frosting hat. And I could eat it whenever I got hungry or my blood sugar got too low.
Maple: That's a good idea! I was thinking cheese, but that's just 'cause I like cheese. I mean, I really hadn't put much thought into it.
Freckles: Oh, Maple, this isn't the sort of thing you can leave to chance ... You never know when you might find yourself in some sort of cake emergency.
Truer words have never been spoken! The phrase "delicious frosting hat" also delights me, possibly because it calls to mind fond memories of bad headgear and of Starfield, the +4 Cake Priestess.