Log in

No account? Create an account
28 June 2006 @ 10:26 pm
the yellow weather  
Not really pleased with the end of the Essa Jissu doodle, so I'll keep it to myself for now. I wound up choosing a more jewel-tone color scheme, you see, but I'll be darned if I didn't like the light minty icon version better when I was through!

Since I started going through my old role-playing cast, I thought I might as well draw Abiona Apara, the namesake of this journal.

Believing that characters are usually but a facet or an extension of their author, I always acknowledged that Abiona contained "some" of my negative traits. Yet I never really understood just how messed up she (and I) was! Perhaps I was too deep into it to be able to see it ... I sensed it, but couldn't grasp the scope of it due to severe tunnel vision. Abiona was the vehicle into which I poured all of my unhappinesses at that time ... sense of oppression by one's own abilities, panic attacks, fear of being abandoned, isolation, etc. etc. etc. Every single positive trait I gave her (and they were few, let me tell you!) became horribly twisted. Her love and loyalty became unhealthy dependence, and her strong empathy ironically led her to murder.

Looking back, nearly all of my characters were horribly depressed and depressing! The 2.5 who weren't all fell flat on their faces. I just couldn't write from a balanced perspective!

Anyway. This picture features her second outfit, the "she joined up with the mysterious potentially evil dude" one. Gratuitous whooshy cape action? I'm so there! Though I liked her first ensemble at the time, I look back at it now and think "sheeeeeeeyit!! I totally thought that up when I was half-conscious in my eight a.m. communications class!" It was brown, brown, red, brown, brown and full of yuck yuck yuck! I also must have been looking at Five Star Stories art back at that time, for in that old doodle (too terrible to share), her ankles look like they'd snap should any weight ever be put upon them. I may still favor bizarrely slender joints, but let me assure you that they have at least doubled in width over the years.

I wanted a pose similar to Essa's since the one arm raised had caused great neck/shoulder interaction problems for me. Originally, I started out with her kneeling (since she was, after all, superduper angst-tastic) ... but after three or four unsatisfactory versions of this, I gave up and went with the easy standard "standing while casting whooshing magic" version. I justify it by saying that Abiona did once blow up a populated inn.

I have a love-hate relationship with this new pen. The ink is a lot darker than my previous pen (a trait which I am of course much in love with, as I am a saturation addict), but it has a tendency to leave random blots, which will require Photoshop editing at some point. Her one eye is completely effed up as a result of this unpredictable habit.

When I finish this doodle, I'm going to say, "Good bye, Emobiona! I'll give you a happier version someday!" It is a farewell to that old miserable version ... may its negative form rest in peace. Though this journal is named after her, I have overcome what she was. It's time for a new incarnation.
Current Mood: indescribablealone
Lukesemi_normal on June 29th, 2006 04:00 am (UTC)

I'd forgotten the whole 'driven to murder' part. Partly because the guy who she'd murdered turned up in a far later scene before I realised I'd made a huge plot hole and fixed it.

Her last sighting was riding Bahamut into the distance, along with Vai and Sein. They may have made an older, wiser appearance in the FFRPGII: Electric Boogaloo revival, but that's probably petering out before we get that far.
One Who Wanders: braindeadabiona on June 29th, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
Wasn't Vai supposed to be her summon at one point, thereby explaining kind of sort of why she was always thinking about him?
Lukesemi_normal on June 29th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)
That was the notion. Bahamut was the only summon we ever saw in the flesh, so to speak, so it got put on the gargantuan 'things we foreshadowed but never got around to' pile. Then it all died and came back as a Mahou-only RPG, so we've yet to see what plot points still get used.
Fishkayay on July 3rd, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC)
What else is in that pile?
a_for_anonymous on June 29th, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC)
I'd hit it.
One Who Wanders: and your point isabiona on June 29th, 2006 09:54 pm (UTC)
Mag, you'd hit anything with breasts on it. : P
a_for_anonymous on June 30th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC)
Nomatter how many name changes, nomatter how many years, you always know it's me. :(

sup sakaki
One Who Wanders: hehabiona on July 1st, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC)
You sound so depressed about it! : P
a_for_anonymous on July 2nd, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah! Come to think of it, it's actually more flattering than anything.

One Who Wanders: oh pleaseabiona on July 2nd, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
Well, duh.
What do you think?
a_for_anonymous on July 3rd, 2006 09:53 am (UTC)
Re: Well, duh.
I think I love you. <3