One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders
abiona

  • Mood:

the yellow weather

Not really pleased with the end of the Essa Jissu doodle, so I'll keep it to myself for now. I wound up choosing a more jewel-tone color scheme, you see, but I'll be darned if I didn't like the light minty icon version better when I was through!

Since I started going through my old role-playing cast, I thought I might as well draw Abiona Apara, the namesake of this journal.

Believing that characters are usually but a facet or an extension of their author, I always acknowledged that Abiona contained "some" of my negative traits. Yet I never really understood just how messed up she (and I) was! Perhaps I was too deep into it to be able to see it ... I sensed it, but couldn't grasp the scope of it due to severe tunnel vision. Abiona was the vehicle into which I poured all of my unhappinesses at that time ... sense of oppression by one's own abilities, panic attacks, fear of being abandoned, isolation, etc. etc. etc. Every single positive trait I gave her (and they were few, let me tell you!) became horribly twisted. Her love and loyalty became unhealthy dependence, and her strong empathy ironically led her to murder.

Looking back, nearly all of my characters were horribly depressed and depressing! The 2.5 who weren't all fell flat on their faces. I just couldn't write from a balanced perspective!

Anyway. This picture features her second outfit, the "she joined up with the mysterious potentially evil dude" one. Gratuitous whooshy cape action? I'm so there! Though I liked her first ensemble at the time, I look back at it now and think "sheeeeeeeyit!! I totally thought that up when I was half-conscious in my eight a.m. communications class!" It was brown, brown, red, brown, brown and full of yuck yuck yuck! I also must have been looking at Five Star Stories art back at that time, for in that old doodle (too terrible to share), her ankles look like they'd snap should any weight ever be put upon them. I may still favor bizarrely slender joints, but let me assure you that they have at least doubled in width over the years.

I wanted a pose similar to Essa's since the one arm raised had caused great neck/shoulder interaction problems for me. Originally, I started out with her kneeling (since she was, after all, superduper angst-tastic) ... but after three or four unsatisfactory versions of this, I gave up and went with the easy standard "standing while casting whooshing magic" version. I justify it by saying that Abiona did once blow up a populated inn.

I have a love-hate relationship with this new pen. The ink is a lot darker than my previous pen (a trait which I am of course much in love with, as I am a saturation addict), but it has a tendency to leave random blots, which will require Photoshop editing at some point. Her one eye is completely effed up as a result of this unpredictable habit.

When I finish this doodle, I'm going to say, "Good bye, Emobiona! I'll give you a happier version someday!" It is a farewell to that old miserable version ... may its negative form rest in peace. Though this journal is named after her, I have overcome what she was. It's time for a new incarnation.
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  • (no subject)

    I'd say I burned out on LJ there, but I wasn't exactly on fire to begin with ...

  • the internet, it is breaking

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  • 11 comments

  • (no subject)

    I'd say I burned out on LJ there, but I wasn't exactly on fire to begin with ...

  • the internet, it is breaking

    At the rate I'm going, I wonder if I should just give up the ghost and sell all the fabric/patterns I've been carting around for years. Teaching plus…

  • (no subject)

    The kittens are watching my mouse cursor and/or my text appearing as I type. Their heads are moving in unison. It is so cute. I just can't see what…