One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders
abiona

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scooter to, scooter fro

I just fell flat on my ass in dance class! I was not as cognizant of my position on the floor as I usually am, and consequently was much closer to the front mirrors than I realized. Suddenly seeing myself looming large and approaching fast in my bad peripheral vision was a little freaky and sent me for a loop, which is one cause of many for my sudden tumble.

In truth, it wasn't a total wipe, as I landed with my weight mostly on my right side and was able to keep enough momentum going to carry me over and back up. Yet this situation is very rare, very important. In the past I have wobbled, shimmied and wiggled in search of maintaining that elusive state called "balance," and I have always kept to my feet out of pride. I restrained my range of motion specifically to avoid something like this. I cannot recall the last time I went over in the presence of others without consciously choosing to attempt to do so! I wanted to impress, I suppose, which backfired in so many aspects. I came to use training as an excuse for my stiffness, I made ballet a barrier. So, this fall shows that for one moment, at least, I shed all pretense at elegance and skill, and chose instead to just go for it. Once upon a time I had to be encouraged to let loose, but this time, I put far too much oomph into the move of my own free will. Yes, I completely overdid it, but as a result, I fell right. I hit the wood hard, but I did so with natural motion, where I was most padded, and not on any bone.

Also significant is the fact that once I was back on my feet, I laughed and went on, going right back at getting the move. I did not beat myself up over my display, nor was I excruciatingly embarrassed by it as I once would most certainly have been. Progress! I have made progress! I'm so glad I'm getting over myself.
Tags: dance
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