One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders

  • Mood:
  • Music:

There are wait what? When did that dude no way. Hehehe!

I was going to wait until 2006 actually concluded before I passed judgment upon it, but the holidays are about to become pretty crazy pretty fast, and I make regular calls about the state of every day in the grand three hundred sixty five total anyway, so let me get my gigantic post of generalizations over with. This rotation of the earth around the sun was not marked with very many external accomplishments on my part, though eventually getting hired by someone I was in no way affiliated with probably counts as one of those few. A majority of my work this year fell within the "self improvement" category, which is fine, because it was long overdue. Why else do I often feel vaguely ashamed when I think of ye olde high school days? It is because I let myself stagnate as a human being, which made every feather in my cap feel empty and false.

In 2006, I proceeded to get a grip.

1.) I figured out that I was not my father in female form.
1A.) I realized that I was not going to turn into my father.
1B.) I started having more moments where interacting with my father did not stress me out or make me very sad.
2.) I finally established a "worth of self" unconnected with my occupation.
3.) I started finding good things about my body that I had never before seen.
4.) I faced up to treating depression and PMS.

In short, I started to like myself once more. I also began to draw and take photos again, both product and producer of a reduced state of angst. It has been a very long time since I felt any sort of affection for my person, so it's almost other-worldly being in my own body these days. I still have moments where "I don't deserve anything!" or "I'm disgusting!" or "I'm a waste!" pop into my head, but they are growing increasingly few and far between.

My journey is not over yet, of course. I resolve to continue facing my insecurities, and to seek not only "balance," but "progress" as well. I hope, now that my head is more firmly on my shoulders, to find the strength to overcome the apprehension and inaction that significantly delay Projects I come up with. Having now accepted body parts, I will work on accepting my form as a whole. I also pledge to do my laundry a little more often, but that has been in the resolution pile for years ...

Anne's Favorite Photos of 2006

Glow (Parade)


May Walk






Indiana Indiana Indiana Indiana

It hasn't appeared again.

Lawn Decorations Lawn Decorations

September Visit September Visit

Small Stuff Small Stuff

Hoosier Hoosier


Tags: photography

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded