Fondue is a rather risky method of food intake, but it leaves a lot of room for humorous exploits, such as witnessing others drinking liquid butter or mainlining melted white chocolate with amaretto. There were only a few ways the evening could have been improved, and most of my ideas for bringing the fondue festival to a new level involve at least two more chocolate courses. I did wind up feeling underdressed for the occasion due to my strict interpretation of "business casual." But now I know, and next year, I'll be back in a skirt and/or black (I swear I can clean up, really, I can).

Aside from a three hour delay on the return leg of the trip, things went over without a hitch. Where would airlines be without peanuts, I ask?

...

I recently picked up a second translation of "The Tale of Genji," of which I read quite a bit while waiting for the plane to show up. Once again, I find myself wanting to wear long, wet sleeves (supposedly dampened with my tears, but probably just with tap water), and every now and then I have to resist an urge to bust out with some poems. For me to attempt to express myself in such a format would be a Really Bad Idea because I have never had strength in it, and as I have a theory that "Serious Meaningful Stuff" can be achieved in three simple steps, I may never get any better.

1.) Write some sort of sentence, preferably something abstract or dealing with your inner turmoil. Remember to avoid rhyming at all costs.
2.) Remove all punctuation and demote every other capital letter.
3.) Insert breaks and paragraphs in pretty or pointless places.