One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders
abiona

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It's been an interesting few days, full of the minor flucutations that make up my comparatively banal life, which all in all seems pretty good to be living right now. ^_^ I say banal with some amount of sarcasm, because if it were truly banal, I would probably not be here writing right now, nor would I be at school ... I'd probably be braindead, turned off.

With the way things are looking, I'll be doing at least two more issues of the school paper. Since I gave them notice of my intentions to resign from my position, they asked me to hang on for one more issue, to "train a replacement." Layout weekend is rapidly approaching, and I have not seen any effort on anyone's part to find such a replacement, so I'm doubting that's really going to happen.

I changed my "position" in the meetings I had with the senior editors, and said that "depending on new information, and on how this next layout weekend goes, I may or may not be quitting." This is partially a result of the huge amount of guilt that I felt over just standing up and quitting, having only done one issue. When I feel this guilty ... I know that there must be something wrong in my logic, and trying to deny it only makes the guilt worse. I feel better when I admit or wait for new information and try to factor that into my decisions.

No Prismacolor marker set yet. At this moment, the problem is not the money ... it's getting out to the places where I need to be in order to purchase things. XP I wonder how expensive marker sets are ... if the pencil sets are any indication, I'll probably have to settle for twelve or less markers and be darn tootin' happy (and sparing in use) with 'em. XD

Figure Drawing was difficult today. o.O We are now learning how the skeleton really impacts the appearance of the flesh that rests upon it, so we had to spend a lot of time on a skeleton, and then take tracing paper over that, drawing the model's figure accordingly on it, on top of the skeleton. (My professor said I did a good job! XD) It was very helpful to see how the bones relate to the shapes you see in the body, although it was also very stressful, because after awhile, I felt like I was drawing a deformed tree instead of a spine and a ribcage. o_O; But I just gotta keep on going ... the more I do this, the more I challenge myself, the better I will become.

The sociology professors "cleaned out" their offices the other day and left a lot of free books out for the taking, and so (despite the fact that they are probably horribly outdated), I picked up about seven of them before I restrained myself and got away from the treasure of books. ^_^; There's just something so exciting about seeing so many books just resting there, for anyone who can read to read ... it wasn't a huge dramatic, public excitement, but more of an excitement from deep within, so buried I could barely tell that it was there.

I begin to think that it's not that I am emotionless in situations where I should not be, or that I have perfected a deadpan face ... I have merely undertaken and understood the art of ignoring myself.

I was in the Mac Lab this evening, working for some hours on a menu design that is due tomorrow (I am still not happy with the results, but I know that the professor will give me additional tips to work with in class). Hey, folks, remind me to post my menu when it is done in the FFVII group ... I think they'd find it amusing. XD I haven't been posting in the group lately since I've been busy, but FFVII is still on my mind. (Come one, come all, come see the girl who hasn't touched a drop in her life try to make up drink names.)

Anyway, as I packed up my stuff and was readying to leave, a girl who's in my class called to me, asking for help. I went over to the station she was at and knelt (probably sheer randomness or stupidity taking hold, since comfy chairs were readily available). Looking down at where her menu stood, and how she felt, I found that I had kind of a pleasant surprise awaiting me ... I understood what she wished to do, and I understood to a certain level of what the program was capable of accomplishing, and I knew what I would do in the situation she was in ... and, successfully coming across as truly honest and not patronizing or ignorant in the least, I actually helped. It made me feel pretty good about myself, that silly "warm and fuzzy feeling" that others associate with love, but I now associate with positive realization. I had mastered the program to a degree at which I could help others with what I knew. I could help her attain what she wished to do with her design without doing it for her. It doesn't matter that she thinks my name is Anne Marie, when it really isn't. ^_^; lol

Despite my love for being helpful and being recognized as such by others, I also have a love for being contrary and perverse (not in a hentai way) with the people I care about. John really could kick my ass for all that I do to him, but because he is such a nice person, he lets me get away with kicking him in the shins all the time (I have caused him bruises). Strange, no?

[Edit - oh yes, almost forgot ... I actually updated Hammerspace the other day. Took me long enough to get around to it! X3]
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