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09 October 2002 @ 11:47 am
I finally managed to get all the required signatures for my change of major form the other day, and I even turned it in (all in the course of a single hour!), so I'm officially an art major now (specifically computer arts/graphic design). No more of the "depends on who you ask" response when people question me about my major ... because now the system and I say the same thing. (I might say "depends on who you ask" when I answer anyway, though, because of habit and because the reactions tend to be amusing.)

Speaking of art, I got recruited to be up bright and early on Thursday morning to "chalk the walk," or draw some stuff on a block of sidewalk for my club. I'm probably going to doodle Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust stuffages and generic anime vampires (for our movie theme of "Dracula") ... I have support from some members of the board. Dunno about the rest, but if no one else is going to come and keep me company ... nyah! lol ... I doodled a decent Charlotte the other night on a chalkboard ... it was gone when I came into the room this morning. ._.

Though I haven't gotten the written evaluation yet ... according to my teacher, I did very well with my portfolio. I am very relieved ... worry over the quality of my work will forever consume me, it seems. I need to work on my gestural technique still, though ... I continue to apply too heavy an anime stylization to it, when it would be in my better interests in class to try to be truthful to what is before me.

The question of my dependability has been raised. I see myself as a dependable individual, but I find that I have not been proving myself as such this week. : P I missed work on Monday, because I completely zoned ... utterly, totally forgot about it, until quarter after four, when it was pointless for me to go in. Then, this morning, I overslept and had only thirty minutes to get ready for class (a pain when you're used to functioning with two hours). I don't remember turning off my alarm clock, but I must've. Mweh.

The library has books which were first checked out in 1964, and haven't been checked out by anyone since the 80s. Each of these books, with tape on the spines to hold their skins to their innards, contains a lot of information about the cultural mindset at the time - try reading a book dating from that period on African art. @_o There is a long row of chest upon chest that contains the notecards that they used to catalogue the book collections on ... now ignored, hidden in a corner, unused. It kind of makes me sad, these things which have become dusty and lonely ... I feel meditative when I am faced with systems, cover designs, and mindsets that are now considered "antiquated."

Maybe I am partially antiquated myself? My mode of thinking is definitely shared by very few individuals, and the more I am isolated, the stranger my thought processes become. ._. Someday, no one will remember how to use those index cards. Only a small number of individuals seem to be able to handle my abruptness ...

So I'm a loner ... so I am well-versed in solitude. I do not mind being by myself ... as an only child, I have been by myself, so to speak, since I was born. I can handle it; I've learned how to rely on myself for entertainment and company, and not seek out/require the efforts of others ... but I am lonely. It is awfully lonely sometimes.

Weeeeeelll, I stuck my head in a little skunk hole and a little skunk said "well bless my soul! Take it out take it out remooooove it!"

Weeeeelll, I didn't take it out and the little skunk said "take it out take it out or you'll wish you were dead! Take it out take it out remooooooove it!"

Weeeelll, I didn't take it out and the little skunk went "PSSSSSST!" I remooooooooved it. TOO LATE!

I blame my mother for teaching me this song. I have vowed to spend more time with my family when I am near them.
Current Mood: about to sneeze
Current Music: Aimee Mann - Say Anything
silent_falls on October 9th, 2002 11:39 am (UTC)
nairohe : oh wow! Always knew you were good at art and always, always overwhelmed when you show em to me. Anyhoo, I envy you. you get to major what I've always wanted while i'm dwelving more and more into the coding and back end aspect of computers... pout* I'm starting to like it though. I like anything that invovles a system behind it so it still works for me. I'm happy for you. ^^
Diminuendo Arpeggio: elegantamir03 on October 9th, 2002 12:13 pm (UTC)
"I can handle it; I've learned how to rely on myself for entertainment and company, and not seek out/require the efforts of others ... but I am lonely. It is awfully lonely sometimes."

I know exactly how you feel. Since middle school I've been a loner, and I actually began to like it maybe a year ago. When given a block of time and a choice between "friends" around me or no "friends" around me, I invariably choose to be be myself. At lunch time, there's no where I'd rather be than in my car in the parking lot working on my latest design/inking/sketch in silence and solitude. It's probably the closest thing to real happiness in my day - no sound but the sound of my pen, no sight but the sight of my art, and all on a comfy seat.

Yet, there is a difference between being "by one's self" and being "alone" or "lonely." Being "by myself" puts me at peace, makes me feel content, comfortable, and secure, like a warm blanket in a cold world. Being "alone" is an icy gale ripping my beloved blanket from my shoulders, freezing my heart so that it beats perpetually painfully, as a constant reminder of its imminent shattering. I need someone who understands that - sometimes distant, sometimes close, always "together."

None of my icons are appropriate for the tone of this post. Curses. Hehe.
Giang (yang)cometeoraine on October 9th, 2002 08:34 pm (UTC)
What an interesting song. This makes me want to learn the tune to it xD.