One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders

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What Final Fantasy summon are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

"You are Shiva! You may not be one for comradery, but you get the job done with icy precision. Beware of the Diamond Dust!"

I remember this quiz ... I took it once awhile ago when it was on Geocities, and got the same result. I guess they found that Geocities is not conducive to quiz-ish-ness, and thereafter moved it to Quizilla (which isn't all that great either, frankly, but it is better). I kind of wish they had used images of Shiva's FFVII incarnation for the quiz result. Though the plainest, I think that one is my favorite ... probably because she was my first really cool-looking, damage-inducing summon ever, and it was amazing. *_* I don't think Square's ever done Shiva wrong in any of their designs, though. FFVII's just has the most nostalgia tacked onto it for me. ^^ Leviathan and Phoenix are my other favorite summons. *_* Diablos rocks, too ... and Cactuar! And the Chocobo/Mog summon! ::goes sparkly-eyed::

New iconage. If you want to see the full images that they come from, comment or something. I'll get them up and out. I hope to update Hammerspace over Winter Break.

I thought today was beginning fairly well, though the usual hijinks for a Monday soon ensued. Ray actually said hello to me without me saying hello first, and though I skipped breakfast and forgot my watch, I was at Kirkland before the professor I was supposed to meet was. Make a (not so) long story (even) short(er), he forgot that he was supposed to meet me. XP I really need to stop trying to meet people in the mornings ... two tries that I remember offhand, two failures. This should indicate to me that morning meetings just don't work in the college setting.

Anyhoo, I went on over to where my Non-Western Art History class was to meet that morning ... and I was, surprise surprise, the first one there. I worried a bit, fearing that I had messed up somehow and maybe we weren't meeting there today, perhaps it was next class period ... and then Ray showed up, and we actually had a small conversation (which he started). o.O He must have been feeling loquacious today!

Yesterday, I had been looking at my spring schedule online ... I noticed that some class, though I could not think of which one, was missing ... dropping me from 17 to 14 credits, a bad no-go, considering I must have X amount of credits (something like ... 58?) by the end of the spring semester in order to keep all of my student loans. So today, I talked with my advisor. We saw that Global Haiku, for some reason, had not been added to my schedule (despite the fact that it fit in perfectly ... she had not received any emails about problems with my schedule, so we weren't sure what the issue was). Calling the registar's office, we then discovered that I had been put on a waiting list, and that I would have to make another choice. XP This is the first time that I've ever been put on any class waiting list - prior to this, I have never had problems and/or I talked my way out of it. Though in the past I've turned in my schedule over a month late, I always got what I wanted ... but this time, when I stood in line and turned my schedule in pronto, I was put on a waiting list for a class of three credits that would've fulfilled one of their dorky track requirements. XP This makes me cranky.

I went to go speak to the teacher, but when I said "global haiku," he tightened up immediately and said that he already had too many people in it, and it couldn't be done (despite the fact that other teachers have done it before ... XP). Though I respect his decision, this just makes me crankier.

I wound up finding another class to stick in (with my former advisor ... a theology professor who can't remember my name ... XP), but I still have to get all the various signatures for the drop/add form, despite the fact that the class hasn't started, nor was I actually in the global haiku to begin with. XP Ah ... it's a bother.

I suppose I should mention that the registar's office completes the schedules of JMS (honors) students and seniors first, and then goes down the traditional, time-honored line of junior, sophomore, and freshman. You know that I failed to make JMS, as I was hesitant and also still depressed/burned out at the time of my freshman honors classes/essay/JMS interview. It's true that a lot of students feel that JMS is useless, as it is another set of checkmarks to fill in ... but it does have its benefits, namely the scheduling priority and a different, lighter requirement load.

I'm still annoyed by the fact that I didn't make JMS, because I feel as though I am now just another "average" student to the university. I am just another sophomore on the lower end of the scheduling line, and thus my schedule was not processed as I would have wished. I feel like all the work I did during high school to ensure that I would be reaping the benefits later on was completely useless. I did every time-consuming, emotionally exhausting extra-curricular activity possible and graduated summa cum laude, burning myself out both emotionally and physically. Sure, I got into every university that I applied to without trouble - but all of that trouble I had was supposed to carry me farther! I don't have the energy or the desire to do that to myself again in order to get to the top of the pile. I just can't do that to myself ... I don't want to face that numbness again. I don't want to reach a point again where I'm sleeping through meetings because I can't figure out why I'm there other than out of obligation.

I'm annoyed because I am facing all of the same requirements (maintaining the 3.4 GPA, for example) without any of the benefits that JMS students get. So I'm lazy ... yes, and so are all the rest of us college students. If we can save ourselves the trouble, we'll do it! I feel like I wasn't given that option. I've got to take the tougher road, and if I don't do as well as if I were taking the easier one, I'm going to be in trouble. XP

I feel like my life is being ruled by numbers, and it frustrates me. Ruled by numbers of seats, which may be taken by students who would get less out of the course than I would, but who got in simply because they are a senior or a junior looking for some easy class. Ruled by easily assigned and strictly enforced number levels, barring me from courses which I feel I am entirely capable of taking, a blanket prohibition simply on the basis of my class level. Some voice of bureaucracy speaks from on high, and I am immediately screwed. "Oh, you're a sophomore? No, you can't touch anything that's in the 400s. You just can't." Oh? Do you know me? How do you know that I can't handle a 400 level course? None of you people have any idea what I'm capable of. Begun anew from my ashes of high school effort, I don't even know! I haven't fallen in your presence yet ... I can go farther! I would've aced that 200 level course my freshman year, had I cared about the subject matter and not half-slept through it because it was at eight a.m. As it was, I got a B, an apology from the teacher for telling me when I began that she thought I couldn't handle it, and an invite into the communications program. I am capable of more than people give me credit for!

I'm really tired. It's not the yawning kind of tired ... just when I go up stairs, I feel like I'm sinking downwards. Everything inside of me seems flat.

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