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12 January 2003 @ 01:02 am
The wind is whistling outside, and random thoughts occur with each gust, each ring of the telephone.

Aaagh, my father has been very clingy lately, after (finally ...? I was the last to know) telling me that he was marrying Karen, his girlfriend. I wouldn't be so antsy about his continual attempts to contact me if I was sure that he had honest intentions, and - if "honesty" turns out not to be the case - if I understood the reasons behind this move. Is he doing it to look good? Did his fiancee guilt him into it? Does he do it because he feels bad about our lukewarm relationship? Or does he do it because he thinks that having a warmer relationship with me will make things easier when the inevitable comes ...? Or is he attempting to be "a better father" because he has asked me to be in the wedding, and he wants the show to be backed up with truth? Or is he just doing it because he is, after all, spending a lot of money in one go for my painting course and my books for the Spring Semester?

It's just so strange, an abrupt turn in behavior. He's never bothered before, and I haven't cared to bother either, given some past history between the two of us (some of you may know of the "Thanksgiving Fiasco," a prime example). He didn't care about being "honest" about things before ... he coasted along on my mother's effort. He is the "poorest man with money you'll ever meet."

I would reciprocate, but I am afraid that despite whatever intentions lie behind, he will eventually come to treat me as he does now or as he did then, and nothing will change. I suppose I can't really say that will come to be, as in order to change things you must first do something ... eh, bah. >.>

My RA has taken to an "inspirational" decoration theme, so there are posters with various "make you think" phrases and praises for the Lord on them scattered about on our floor. Now, whenever I "use the facilities," so to speak, I can read about the joy of God. The posters don't bother me as much as the context in which they are placed does ... >.>;

Anyone know where I can find a copy of the BGM when you're on Mount Gagazet? (By the way, I didn't really like the voices they used for Kimahri's "adversaries" ... the entire comic Arnold Schwartzenwhomever accent made me think "We Ronso are BIG BURLY MEN!" Also, the Ronso are not adept vocalists.)

Damn this lack of Lv. 3/4 Key Spheres! How the shiznit am I supposed to get to all these snazzy abilities without them? TT

I found Yojimbo! (He has an awesome voice ... XD) Geeze, he cost a fortune. >.>; I got some really good equipment off the monsters that I was fighting in that area, though ... I was blessed with a Peaceful Bangle (or something like that), a glorious piece of gear with the miraculous "No Encounters" ...!

I am trying to bulk up my defenses ... basically, I don't really care how weak or "average" my weapons are and thusly how long it takes me to beat bosses, just as long as I can take the hits that my opponent is dishing out. I am currently making everybody at least Fireproof. : D Some characters have equipment with Fire Eater/Ice Eater/etc. on them, which makes me very happy. "HAHA! Brilliant monster, you are! Free heal, everybody!" I also aim to be able to prevent most status effects, since status effects annoy the hell out of me.

I can take out Malboros without the slimy thing ever getting a chance to fight. XD It's sweet revenge for some past encounters.
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: Arcturus - Star Crossed (pretty pianos ... : P)
ordeal by rosesfourish on January 12th, 2003 04:16 pm (UTC)
Mount Gagazet...

The name of that track is "People of the North Pole." If you can't find it via Kazaa or the like, let me know and I'll try to rip 'n' burn 'n' such, as I have the OST. (I mostly use an evil modem, so it might take awhile, but I'm willing. :)
One Who Wanders: weirdabiona on January 12th, 2003 06:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Mount Gagazet...
I cannot use Kazaa and the like, because the school blocks them. : P