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02 March 2003 @ 01:46 pm
"So precious with line."  
Inspired by silentkitty, I finally got around to making a new layout and updating Hammerspace. Feel free to take a look-see, particularly you, earthphoenix. Remember Ariai? She's baaack ... Eventually I intend to go through each section and pick the ones I like the best, and clear out the rest ... but that will have to wait until later, when I do not have an exam, a paper, and a presentation due (none of which have been started) in the next two days. (Yes, I should've started the paper long ago ... but time became really hard to interpret during February, and March was upon me far sooner than I expected.)

Mask your line, cover your trail. An unrealized accident, progress - that valued word. A few days ago, I realized that it was rather interesting how he pointed out how my physicality with the paper very nearly destroyed it ... considering that I just read in my contemporary art textbook of an artist who "[...] attacked the surface with a flamethrower" (226).

I will not quit art because of this man, but unfortunately he has thrown me quite off balance. I will once again have to find worth in what I do, and find my reason for doing it

On Friday night, I attended a "peace concert" for the hell of it - mostly because people have been telling me for some time that I should attend these things, and because I wanted to get out of the LARP meeting that I had found myself in. I kind of wished, once there, that I hadn't gone at all ... I rarely feel comfortable in these situations unless I am there with friends. I knew these people by face or by name, but none of them were close to me at all, and though I participated in some conversations, I felt rather disconnected. I sketched many of the people there, and some of the performers, for the hell of it. But once the music started, it was hard to hear anyone, and their "lighting effects" were driving me somewhat insane. During one group's performance, I began to feel worse and worse, more and more like I didn't belong quite anywhere. I saw couples together and hated them for it, saw people talking to others and wished that they weren't there, was annoyed by the fact that he seemed to be ignoring me. Deciding that I would just cause trouble for myself and others if I remained, I got up and left.

Upon entering my floor, I (re)discovered an entirely different world. The sheer vastness of the divide between the peace concert/alternative music group and those who party all weekend completely amazed me. I was flabbergasted by all the differences I saw - those in behavior, activity, music, clothing, etc. It was truly a strange, strange moment.
Current Mood: blahblah
pixiesboy on March 2nd, 2003 12:06 pm (UTC)
You know very recently I had a design teacher who made me question why I was in the class and knocked the heck out of my drawing and artistic abilities too. All the advice I can give you my friend is that you just plug on doing little things to build yourself back up. I've seen your stuff and I know that you can do it. You're a great artist madame and I'm sure that you'll do it for all the right reasons.

As for the concert, I can completely understand. I've attended a few shows all by myself and they aren't as much fun to be around people you know by face but not personally. But to come back to part central after that must have been surreal. I have to know what you did upon coming into this!
Earthearthphoenix on March 2nd, 2003 07:25 pm (UTC)
*bouncy bouncy* YAY!!!

I'm enjoying the progression of your art !!! *grins* since I've had the chance of seeing your art from the start (or so) of all this madness ... Yay!

hanatenshi on March 4th, 2003 10:48 am (UTC)
I've had some of my most reflective moments while attending a concert. I've also seen the most bizzare selection of humanity at said events.