One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders

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Cornbread Cakes.

I know my usual regular updates seem to have gone to hell, but worry not ... I am merely taking a break and living a lazy life for a week (if playing "old" video games were an actual job, I'd be a star employee). I've decided to continue with my journal's security level as is - after all, my mother has read it since near it began, and there are, I suppose, benefits which I could otherwise not reap. For example ... when I was depressed, she often had to speak for me to the doctor, because I did not see the point in speaking for something such as myself, or I trivialized what felt horrible.

It feels so strange to see another take up the position you once held. It feels odd, somehow, to know that you have an impact upon another whom once you thought unshakable. This is really of my own doing

(Photographs by Paul)

Those who know me often find it difficult to catch me in the act of expressing enthusiasm for any place on the planet, as I am wont to consider many behaviors of my fellow humans as a general irritant. But for many years, I have felt a close bond to Lake Michigan.

Dimensions, though they have long since been measured by the inquisitive, cannot all be so precisely felt. The same subject enriches the eye with different colors - at one moment clear, another turquoise, green, blue, blinding sun glitter. There is power of a different sort here - a basic power, one without the shadings we often give to it. There is no effort at dominance, no desire. It is what it is, simple yet complex. Kill, crush, grind, cover, soothe, hide, cleanse, struggle. There is also a delicate balance hidden within its ability to unconsciously control us ... and thus unwittingly, we destroy that which changes us. We thought we could dump all of our problems into the Lakes without causing harm, thought we could take all we wanted from it. It was so long before we heard the cry!

If, when we die, we find our "spirits" released and free ... I envision mine returning to northern Michigan, seeking out forever the woods and the dunes of the Lake, wishing for a somehow consciousless peace in a place of vast scope.
Tags: is your heart in the right place?

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