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31 March 2003 @ 08:03 pm
I haven't really had a gripe-gripe in awhile, so I've collected a few that I shall now post. Oh, and unless you're Mr. K or a few other assorted individuals who are probably not you, it's not that I don't want to talk to you. I just don't feel like talking to anyone at the moment.

Gripe #1.
The world is, as Disney so noxiously phrased it, "a small world after all." I clicked the random link earlier today, and I came up with a gal who I think visited her grandparents in the cottage next to the one we rented. I don't remember her very clearly anymore, but I do recall thinking she was rather ... exuberant/persistent. It's hard to hide when a determined somebody knows that you're there.

Gripe #2.
Class voice pissed me off today. Thinking that I would be allowed to choose my own song (as others have done so, and as I'm sick of the crap they choose), I've been really looking forward to singing the third movement of "I Hate Music," which is practically my own personal anthem. But what's this?

No, I cannot choose my own. I have to choose from the five simple, easy, bland, and otherwise just plain stupid songs that she wishes us to sing from. I said something along the lines that I really wanted to sing this one song again, because it's been years. Bad idea on my part, for this was something she latched onto vehemently (to my dismay). "No, you can't do that one, you've already sung it!'

Ya know, who the hell cares? I've already done every damn one of these songs you "offer" me, they're horribly common. At least with the song I want to choose, I know I'll be challenged. The only challenges I have faced in Class Voice this semester have been personal challenges of my own devising. The music has been a breeze, to say the least.

Thinking "ok, fine, let's try the equality tack here," I point out that Miss P., a fellow classmate, gets to choose her own music. I am informed that's because she's a 400 level student, whereas I am not.

Ok. ::cough:: Excuse my language, but ...

Auughhhh, what the fuck!? It really pisses me off to have to live my life by the numbers. It angers me to no end when people assume without reason that I don't know what I am doing, or that I am a novice when in reality I am quite experienced. Dammit, I am not some uneducated musical dolt because I'm in (oh gasp) Class Voice. I am here because I WANT TO BE, because I ENJOY SINGING. I am NOT here because I need to learn how to do it! I am here because THIS IS THE ONLY OPTION YOU GAVE ME.

Point blank: No, I don't know everything, but I am quite capable of handling far more complicated material. I want more complicated stuff. I'm sick of coasting through. I want something I can work on. There's nothing in these songs for me.

So now my plan is to obtain the sheet music to "I Hate Music," pretend that I was looking up other songs by Bernstein since she said that I couldn't do one that I had already done, and pretend like this one is new to me. XP

Gripe # 3.
People with humor of a limited scope.

Gripe #4.
To anyone and everyone who has moved on and in the process left me behind to recover on my own: I am not saying that this is a bad thing (I will manage, I always have), but how can you say you won't forget me and yet expect me to forget you? I realize that I tend to be in my own little unobservant world much of the time, but my memory isn't as easily distracted.
Current Mood: fiddlesticks.
Current Music: "Making of a Cyborg," Ghost in the Shell
aethene on April 1st, 2003 03:49 pm (UTC)
*Sigh* Being a performer in a class sucks. That's part of why I left the orchestra. When you're not playing what you want to play, it's just a chore. What's the point? Bands and solo -- the only way to go. Seriously. Being a musician who doesn't pick his own pieces (or in some cases, even one who does) is like being the scribe for an illiterate's narrative. It's automatic, mindless, and stolid, and oftentimes, simply disagreeable.
One Who Wanders: thoughtfulabiona on April 2nd, 2003 08:19 pm (UTC)
Unless some things change, I don't believe I will be taking this particular class next semester. Though I love to sing and really every little bit helps, Class Voice isn't really worth the time it takes. I am not a music major, so I don't really need to put up with the annoyance ... I don't want to deal with things like this, I just want to sing. I hate having less than fifteen minutes out of a class that's already too short (just forty-five minutes) to work with the professors on my song, even if they are songs I already know by heart. I could be taking sculpture classes, lol

I am sticking with Concert Choir, though.

I am not in choir to be a performer or a soloist. Though I used to yearn for solos as we all probably do at one point or another, it is a need I feel no longer. I am here to make music with others, to feel that thing that happens in your head and heart when suddenly, things come together and something beautiful results. I am here to do something I love, not to show off while doing it.

Singing makes me feel better about myself, more whole. That's why I do it, why I am in these classes now - not to get somewhere, not to show somebody, not to do something. Just to be myself.