One Who Wanders (abiona) wrote,
One Who Wanders

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3.5 Inch Fork

You know, I've never liked April Fool's Day, and I refuse to willingly or knowingly participate in it as anything other than just a regular day. "Celebrating" April Fool's has never been a pleasant occasion for me, because:

- Nothing anybody says on that day can be taken seriously. It's tiresome to have to go and reevaluate everything just to make sure that people are being stupid in one way or another (which you should probably already have guessed, but you like to give 'em the benefit of the doubt anyway).
- I will not be taken seriously when I write or speak.
- Good god, people, you already know I'm gullible! You know I've always been and probably always will be, so just leave me alone about it, goddamn you! ::shakes fist::

Anyway ...

It really is amazing how much certain people can cause your mood to just take a nosedive off the proverbial cliff/ledge/edge/wherever. Post Choir, I was on a high - for it had finally returned to me. I had overcome the mental barrier I had set up somewhere along the line, and I was singing high As and Bs again. They weren't great, but hell, they were there. I had said to myself, "you know what, you sang that note when you warmed up this morning. You sang it long ago. So sing it now. Sing it in the song. JUST DO IT!" And, lo and behold, I did.

So, I was really happy after Choir. The winds were strong and that was all right, because I love the feel of gliding my hands along as though they were in water, ribbons of air trailing behind me and caressing my palms.

But Mr. K and Mr. J. almost always join us for dinner. And though I like to think of myself as an open-minded, accepting person, I've never really cared for either of them. My attitude towards them is usually cool at best, and completely cold and disregarding at the worst. Mr. K in particular has become harder to tolerate as of late, and the knowledge that others don't much like him either doesn't make it any easier to try to see his virtues.

He upsets me on many levels. He also calls into question the balance between the good of the individual, and the good of the group. I recognize that it would be better for him if we involved him in our activities, yet I also see that whenever he's around, the group becomes more tense, has less fun, and is more easily annoyed. So whose interests should I act in?

He's hard to deal with, because he doesn't really deal with himself. His reactions are extreme, his social skills low. He is annoying, and sometimes embarrassing to be with in public. I have yet to find some redeeming trait that would make up for the times he's thrown loud, plate-shattering fits in the school cafeteria, or given me those odd death-glares, or made some comment that everybody wanted to either smack him for or walk away from.

He wound up sitting next to me at dinner this evening, so my mood rather quickly deteriorated. XP

In other news, I still haven't hung my laundry. I've done three additional loads, though.

  • (no subject)

    I'd say I burned out on LJ there, but I wasn't exactly on fire to begin with ...

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